Boppa's Bald Stories, Laurie Trott Rettig and Hanna du Plessis

The Advance Review Copy of Boppa's Bald Stories. Please do not share.

Boppa's Bald Stories

Laurie Trott Rettig, as told by Ross Rettig

Illustrations by Hannah du Plessis

Published by Okay Then LLC

okaythen.net

Original stories told by Ross Rettig

ISBN 979-8-9902509-0-1

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024938279

of the content than the law allows, contact the publisher.

First edition, 2024

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Boppa and Yaya dedicate these stories

to those who couldn’t join the fun.

To Kaitlyn Rose, Levi William, Olivia Lynn,

and Hunter Joseph in Pennsylvania.

To Max in Spain, and to Garry in Belgrade, Montana.

We wish you lived closer. We love you dearly.

One January afternoon the cousins were sitting around the fi replace

with blocks and puzzles. Emmy was reading in the big green chair.

Boppa was reading in the bright red chair. The parlor had a warm

cookie smell. Judah started pestering Boppa to tell how he got bald.

Maggie joined in. “I like the time you were in the marching band

and the wind blew your hair off ,” she coaxed.

“Oh, that story isn’t real, Maggie,” confessed Bops. “I’ll tell you the

real marching band story.”

Maggie asked doubtfully, “But will this one really be real?”

“Of course it will!” exclaimed Boppa.

This one time our marching band was chosen to play in Pasadena,

California for the New Year’s Day Rose Bowl Parade. We weren’t

supposed to chew gum in the marching band, but I knew how to do it

so that nobody could tell. I played the glockenspiel, which fi t over my

shoulders with straps. The cymbal player marched right behind me.

Chewing gum helped my ears feel better when the cymbals crashed

so close.

Well, we were playing a Sousa march. We turned sharply, and my

gum fl ew out of my mouth. Before I thought about what I was doing,

I leaned over to rescue it, almost losing one of my mallets. As I stood

back up the cymbal player clashed his cymbals, skimming right along

the top of my head. They skimmed off all of my hair, along with my tall

marching hat! From that day on I have been as bald as I am today. I never

got to play in the band again, because I got kicked off for chewing gum.

“What is a glow-cans-peel, Boppa?” asked Louise.

“That is an instrument like a xylophone,” Boppa replied.

Judah was thoughtful. “Boppa, was that the day you started getting

deaf?”

Just then Yaya came in with a fresh plate of chocolate chip cookies.

Boppa and the Rose Bowl Parade

One afternoon close to Christmas, EmmyJean was in charge of making

cookies with all the younger cousins. While they waited for the timer

to go off announcing the dough was chilled, Emmy sat with Boppa.

She had a question.

“Boppa, did you have hair a long time ago?”

“Oh yes,” answered Bops. I used to have beautiful thick brown hair.”

Emmy looked surprised. “Did you ever dye it a diff erent color?”

“I sure did,” he replied.

This one time I went to a Christmas cookie baking party. There

was a girl named Ann at the party who would dye anyone’s hair who

wanted to try it. A girl with long hair already had bright purple stripes,

and someone was getting his blond hair dyed bright red.

Boppa and the Green Hair

I was nervous to get my hair dyed, but I really wanted to. I wondered

what I’d look like if it was bright green. I gathered my courage, and

asked Ann if she would make me into a greenhead. In twenty minutes

my hair was the color of a Christmas tree.

The next day was one of those unseasonably sunny warm December

days. I drove to the farm and walked to the pond. I sat down to look at

geese and soak up sunshine. I guess I fell asleep, because next thing

I knew I was startled awake by loud munching sounds. I felt blasts

of warm air huffing into my ears. Something was pulling on my hair!

Would you believe it? A gentle old cow had mistaken my green hair

for grass and was calmly swallowing the last of it.

“Boppa, you’re silly!” teased EmmyJean.

Just then the timer for the dough rang. The other kids came running

in, wondering if the cookie dough was ready to roll out and cut into stars

and angels.

One lazy morning Ben and Lucy came early enough to have oatmeal

with Boppa and Yaya. They were going to stay all day at the Lark

and Laurel.

Ben promised he wouldn’t accuse Boppa of lying if Bops would

tell a bald story.

“Okay, if you promise,” said Boppa. He sipped his coff ee and began.

This one time I was walking in the country. It was evening. The

sky was full of clouds. They got darker and darker by the second. I

could smell the strong scent of rain. A storm was coming, for sure!

Suddenly there was a bright explosion of lightning and the deafening

boom of thunder. A zzzinngg CRACK zapped across the top of my

head. Lightning was sending electricity through my body. Smoke

was pouring off my forehead. I touched my scalp. All I felt was fuzz.

I rubbed my noggin. The fuzziness was ashes that brushed right off

and blew away in the wind.

“Why was your head smoking?” Lucy asked.

Ben answered, “Because the lightning burned his hair off .”

“Oh, yeah,” Lucy laughed. “I knew that!”

Just then Yaya brought over the bowls of oatmeal with blueberries,

brown sugar, and cream.

Boppa and the Lightning

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